On Friday I posted my cover critique of a vintage collection Harlequin cover and I asked what all of you though the plot of such a, um, special cover could possibly be. Well, I will leave you in suspense no longer as you will find the blurb below. I've also included a few more vintage covers for your viewing pleasure. You're welcome;)
VIRGIN WITH BUTTERFLIES (from Harlequin's site):
She's a smooth blonde with enough real glamour not to need makeup—especially when she's in tight white satin. She's honest and sort of naïve, but she knows how to get a man or get rid of a wolf.
She's a cigarette girl in a spot just off Chicago's loop, but she's about to start really going places. As she goes, she collects an Indian raja, an amorous sheikh and a mysterious gentleman reputed to be the Rockefeller of Burma. These gents are after something, chasing the gal around the world to get it, and it ain't hay. That's where her butterflies come in—they flutter hard, warning her when she's scared or propositioned, and they're working overtime. Effectively?—read the book and find out.
I've just made your day haven't I? I'm pretty sure I snorted several times when I read the description, it's almost as good as the cover really. Does it actually say "and it ain't hay"? Extraordinary. Poor, poor butterflies, they're going to flutter themselves into a veritable frenzy trying to warn her about these five suitors. And what happens if she gives in? Do they drop dead? Oh wait, we have to read the book to find out:)
I want to point out as well that the blurb only mentions three gentlemen, so where did she pick up our other two winged human heads? And if she knows how to get men and get rid of wolves (you go girl!), why does she have five creepy insect men hovering around her in this cover? Perhaps she needs a refresher course in insect deterrents. I'll have to lend her my bug spray so this uncomfortable situation doesn't happen again.
Since I found this cover so amusing, I thought I'd share some others from the same vintage collection. Behold!
KISS YOUR ELBOW
Um, I think I'll pass, but thank you anyway. Why would anyone want to kiss their own elbow? Given that it's impossible to do so, what an exercise in futility that would be. Perhaps that's the point? Am I supposed to kiss her elbow? She doesn't appear to have overly sexy elbows, so I don't really want to do that either. And what is she holding? This cover is glorious, just glorious.
PARDON MY BODY
Consider yourself pardoned my dear. She seems to be having a rough night, her strap has fallen off her shoulder (tragic!) and her hem is torn and revealing her unmentionables, so we'll cut her some slack. She's also taking aim with that gun like she means business–go get 'em sweetheart, don't let anyone tear your pretty dress and walk away unscathed!
Hope you guys enjoyed these as much as I did!
Oh, and on a completely random and unrelated side note, I chose a winner last week through Random.org for the signed Shadow Hills poster giveaway and the winner was:
Melissa from I Swim for Oceans
Congrats Melissa, and a big thanks to everyone who entered!